A Long Time Ago…
Let’s talk Star Wars for a minute, shall we? Growing up, I was the biggest Star Wars fan. I was born about 3 months before the first Star Wars movie came out; I’m not sure when I first saw the movie, I remember going to the theater to see ESB and ROTJ. I have vivid memories of playing with my toy Snowspeeder, Hoth Battle Gear Han Solo and Tauntaun in the snow before I was five years old. I lived and breathed Star Wars. I was upset that Greedo did not shoot first in the Special Edition of A New Hope that came out 1997, but overall enjoyed the touchups that were made. There weren’t substantive changes to the newer versions of ESB or ROTJ, but overall I was a contented and happy Star Wars fan.
I’ve Got A Bad Feeling About This
1999. A new trailer. Downloading it over dialup at 56 kbs at home. I was so unbelievably excited, it’s hard to describe. I thought the alien with the floppy ears was some kind of mysterious Jedi master, and combinatio of Yoda’s wisdom and skill with the mystique and danger of Boba Fett. My first child was due to be born around the same time as Phantom Menace came out, and I considered it somewhat cosmic: my child would have a new generation of Star Wars movies to fall in love with, and would then rediscover the originials, bridging the gap between our generations…
And then I saw Phantom Menance (at a 7 AM showing, with Penny, who was due in a week and wouldn’t let me go to a midnight screening, since, if she went into labor, I probably wouldn’t have left). It’s hard to describe the emotional state, or states I was in in the days after. I can only liken it to the five stages of grief from the Kubler-Ross model (actually, I don’t think I was completely through all five stages until after seeing the final movie). The second movie was almost as bad as the first, and while Revenge of the Sith was the best of the prequels, subsequent viewings have shown it to be, overall, a mediocre film at best.
The Force Will Be With You…Always?
So, when, earlier this year, a new Star Wars movie came out, I didn’t even think twice about going to see it. My son, now nine years old, wanted to see it, but I convinced him not to. Many considered the movie a flop, as it made less than $70 million, a far cry from a traditional Star Wars movie take. The movie itself was criticized for being overly juvenile, a critique that should have been more readily applied to the prequels themselves. Somehow, the originals, although made for children, felt more grown up than Lucas’ sophomore efforts.
The animated feature did, however, set up the new television show. Like the victim of Star Wars abuse that I am, I had to take one more peek to see if, maybe, perhaps, the television verison of Clone Wars was worth watching. I’m happy to say that, after finding a few episodes of the new show online at Cartoon Network, I really enjoyed it. It’s certainly not a masterpiece, it could be that the medium of TV show lowers the expectations, but overall, it’s a fun show. Stupid comments coming from a cartoon attack droid seem less objectionable than in a live-action setting. And the voice actors on the show actually do a better job with the characters than Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman did; Anthony Daniels, the voice of C-3P0, is, of course, always up for another gig.
Do or Do Not; There is No Try
But enough about my standards, how does Clone Wars (the animated series) stack up to the No More TV standards? I will say that I had very little in the way of expectations for this show. It’s for kids, it’s on a smaller cable station and it’s animated. It turns out that there’s a whole lot more kids content online that I had previously thought (most is, however, illegal, such as the veritable trove of Pokemon episodes on YouTube, which is a separate but potentially more important topic to discuss later). And, it turns out, Cartoon Network shows actually do a pretty good job of putting their stuff out there.
There’s really little in the way of social/sharing features around the content, and so I’m stuck watching it on Cartoon Network’s mini site (which tends to crash my browser). You can buy the episodes individually for $1.99 on iTunes (not on Zune Marketplace or Amazon Video On Demand, however).
Let’s see how Clone Wars stacks up:
| Criteria | Grade | Notes |
| Previews (Online) | B | On minisite. |
| Clips (Online) | B | Only on minisite, not editable. |
| Extras (Online) | B | Good supplemental material, all on minisite. |
| Full Episodes (Online) | C- | only two most recent episodes found |
| HD Full Episodes (Online) | F | |
| Time till Online | A | current |
| RSS Feed (w/ enclosures) | F | |
| Shareable/Embeddable | F | |
| Advertising | B | No ads on clips, short pre-roll and mid-play ads on full episodes |
| Show Website/Social Media | F | Nothing. |
| Full Episodes (Download) | A | $1.99 |
| Full Episodes (HD) | F | Not available |
| Ubiquity | D | There is little chance I’m going to find this unless I’m looking for it. Only available on iTunes. |
Overall, Star Wars: The Clone Wars gets a grade of C. We can’t fail them, as they are making an effort, but we can’t let them off the hook either. Consideration was taken due to the fact that this a show for kids, and not a major network with infinite resources.
You can purchase episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars on iTunes: 
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Jeff Atkinson 10.31.08 at 12:52 pm
Just wanted to say HI. I found your blog a few days ago on Technorati and have been reading it over the past few days.
jt 10.31.08 at 1:30 pm
Really? You were THAT upset by “Phantom Menace”? Or … you were that upset by having expectations (you name ‘em yourself) that simply weren’t realized? So many people wanted George Lucas to make a specific movie, and he didn’t.
I find the prequels to be far, far more entertaining and repeatable than the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, which just seems so … plodding and torturously paced. I find the prequels to be vastly more enjoyable than the “Matrix” movies or the “Narnia” movies. (OK, well, “Prince Caspian” — I did really like “Lion.”)
They tell a fantastic story that serves as a counterpoint to the “original” trilogy. They tell a story of a time when things were formal and beautiful and florid (even the speech) and just on the brink of collapse. They are wooden and stilted sometimes, particularly in the acting, just like serials from the 1930s, and as befits a time in which people said, “M’lady” and other such phrases.
Look, they’re not perfect, not by a longshot. But they’re fun and they redefined “Star Wars.” (I’ve read people complaining that “Star Wars” needs a “reboot.” It GOT a “reboot” in 1999! Just … not the one that fans wanted.)
Lucas defied expectations, and some people still have a hard time with that.
But I’ll grant you this — you’re right: “The Clone Wars” rocks! (Too bad you didn’t give the movie a chance — find it on DVD when it comes out in a couple of weeks!)
Greg 10.31.08 at 1:48 pm
Jeff: Thanks for checking out the blog!
jt: certainly my expectations had something to do with it; I was expecting it to grab me like the first ones did. But it was more than that. I think most people my age felt that Star Wars would evolve along with them, that the movies would be serious and exciting (the same thing we thought with Transformers and all the other remakes from our childhood). But if the movie had just been a kids movie but not been so incredibly badly acted and written, it would have been OK.
I disagree with you on the LOTR movies; I thouroughly enjoyed them and have watched them several times. Other than the first one, the Matrix movies are completely forgettable. I wasn’t wowed by Narnia, and didn’t see Caspian.
But back to Star Wars, it’s clear now what the movies were intended to do: re-introduce the next generation to Star Wars. Bring more people into the fold, so to speak. Lucas is always looking for his next dollar, never content to honor the fans that put him where he is. With the constant re-releases of the movies in new formats, new special editions, always getting that extra buck out of people who had been devoted fans for years, I was hoping that at last he’d be giving something back to those fans, and he wasn’t. He was just looking for one more way to take a buck from people, and get a whole new generation hooked. And, the movies were bad, at times unwatchable. Sometimes I wonder at how they managed to pick not one but several bad actors in each of the films.
At least we can agree on Clone Wars, it looks like a lot of fun! I think we’ll be renting the movie for our weekly movie night sometime soon. Thanks for checking out the blog!
Brian Wilson 11.02.08 at 12:20 pm
I’m a listener of your HP Progs Podcast and I’ve been checking out a few of these posts. I too watch the Clone Wars cartoon show and like it a lot. But I absolutely hate the website…it’s just way too busy for me.
And speaking of being busy, did I miss an episode on Halloween or did Cartoon Network skip a week?
Greg 11.02.08 at 8:26 pm
Brian: thanks for stopping by! You are absolutely right about the Clone Wars website; it’s obviously made for kids, and not at all well done.
I don’t think you missed an episode; I just watched Rookies on the site last night, and that is all they are up to in iTunes, so it looks like they took the week off!